More tranny stories later!
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
