you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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