that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
