and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I woke up under a house in Key West
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
