Have you finally orgasmed yet?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Houston, we have a squirter
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
