grandma shit on top of the toilet
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
