I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
