God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
