After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize