Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
