it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
he shaved USA in his pubs
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
