A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
