another moral hangover. fuck.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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