the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
