As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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