she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
