the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Randomize
