I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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