Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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