Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
