Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
