the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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