I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
