I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
