I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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