batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
wow bdsm is so cute
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize
