i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Randomize
