Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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