white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Let's get the cat blown out
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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