turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
