gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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