I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
