Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize