he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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