My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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