so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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