Who wears a wallet chain?!
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Operation Purity has been aborted
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
