Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We're too hungover to prance.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
