He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize