we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
