I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
