yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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