I can't watch pbs sober anymore
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
