I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
i now understand why vodka
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
