On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
