he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
