office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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