Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
