my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
