I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize