He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
