We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
