I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
