Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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