Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
