she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
