Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
