I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
