yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
